Every single time that I see some kind of controversy or social injustice come up, I am usually one of the first people commenting about it or ranting on stories. I don’t know if it is the Haitian in me or if it just my incessant need to try to change people’s minds when I feel they are being short sighted, but I am always an advocate of some sort.
Lack of diversity in the blogger/ fashion industry? Yup, I have written and talked about it until I was blue in the face.
Mental health, suicide, and self love? There is a whole section on this blog all about my journey towards healing.
Basically, I have never shied away from speaking on the heavy issues and for the last 3 years plus, I have been very vocal via social media on them. But……… I am really tired today and want to keep it light.
The initial purpose of this photo shoot with my sorority sister and fellow blogger, Kate, was to speak on the First Amendment, Nike and Colin Kaepernick. I was gung-ho when she first presented the idea to me and I just could not wait. Thanks to her, we had super cute Nike crop tops and thanks to Jermaine and I, we had the location. Even more perfect was the fact that there were marches happening near our chosen location with tons of police officers, MAGA supporters, and others around. It meshed oh so well with our photo shoot.
I knew I was going to write the most amazing post all about the Nike campaign and also on the First Amendment.
But then I sat down to write and just felt empty.
I wrote about 3 different posts and deleted them all because they just did not feel right. Everything I was writing was fine and dandy but it did not feel right to me.
Then it dawned on me.
I have been going so hard for so long being every causes’ champion that I am pretty drained and I am pretty tired. It is no one’s fault but my own but I miss the days of my blog being a diary of sorts of my day and the days that I offered advice and educational content over a heavy post about all the injustices in the world.
Maybe I just want to wade in the shallow water for a bit and just post pretty pictures and talk about my outfit or my favorite products or a movie I recently saw that I loved. I think I am truly feeling the weight of it all and before I am crushed by it, I am stepping aside.
A little about me if you have not noticed yet. I have an unhealthy need to want to save everyone and the world. I truly feel depressed when I see a homeless person and I cannot completely change their lives. I cry when I watch the commercials on the animals who have been abused. I cannot even think about children going hungry because their parents do not have enough to feed them. All of this is in my mind day in and day out and I feel such guilt if I am not doing enough. This is probably why I have a tendency to rant on social about any and every injustice.
I feel weird not doing SOMETHING.
So for now to keep myself from going crazy or falling into a depressive state, the only healthy action I can take against all these injustices is one that I honestly forgot about.
That is to pray.
Let go and let God.
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